Consistently - not

If nothing, I am consistently inconsistent.  I have been humbled by this truth today. I want to write how I have learned to consistently follow through. I would love to say I have learned the art of discipline in all aspects.  But it seems, the harder I try the more I fall.

As I was driving in the quiet of my car today, which is rare, I was sifting through my day, my weeks, my months. Wanting to take full advantage of the 'shhhhh' & trying to figure a few things out I realized IT.  How could I have been so blinded by my own independence that I didn't see? Why hadn't I taken this time before? My boys need it - or else this competition we call life may never cease and oh how I long for it to stop dead in it's tracks only to never come by my door stop again. How I yearn for these two to be best friends, comrades, protectors, leaders...to just BE. Their roots are so young and shallow but so strong already.
The IT I realized is simple....simply asking for "help". Why is it so hard to say that word? How could I forget to ask my Heavenly Father for help? Don't we all need help - somedays help in remembering how to breath, somedays - how to love, many days - how to offer Mercy. We all want this extended to us, yet how I forget.

How does this undeserved gift fit into parenting?... the offering of grace and mercy to our children when it isn't earned or deserved, but yet doing this one thing is making the body of Christ beautiful! This is the EXACT thing HE does for me every day. And truly, don't they offer it to us in the simplest..."momma, I love you" when I know WELL I am not always lovable.

With Mother's Day around the corner, I am reminded not only the unmeasurable gift of being a Momma, but the undeserved gift of mercy and grace.