bare white

bare white


Letter to My Pregnant Self

The test was negative. Hmmm…I had to wait another day or two or week…second one, negative. I just knew though…I had to be pregnant. I know those symptoms!! Another day…wait a second!!….I think that says positive. Let's try ONE more time in another day and if I am really patient maybe I can wait two days…I wasn't patient. I HAD to know…sure enough - that is POSITIVE. I leapt for joy and kept it to myself for a bit. I enjoyed those few moments to myself. In fact, I cherished those moments, and sat down to write myself a letter. I knew,  at that moment, there was still clarity in my mind. But once the raging pregnancy hormones, the ones I prayed would come to sustain this sweet life, came in full force, sometimes my thinking would become a bit cloudy. And I forget. I forget what the Lord has taught me. I forget what He has taught me about my husband, children, pregnancy and then I have to learn it all over. This time, I longed for it to be different. I longed to remember and make this pregnancy one I cherished. To honor God through this one instead of making excuses about my moodiness and impatience.

So here it is. I wanted to share this because I know God has brought me back to this reminder so many times and realigned my thinking, words and actions according to all HE has taught me. He is so gracious.

A letter to my pregnant self, 

I want to remind you of a few things because in every pregnancy to date hormones tend to cloud your judgement and thinking. Sometimes they even leave you to forget where GOD has brought you. 

Psalm 139 - There is NO one who knows you better than YOUR Lord. He knows your thoughts from a far. HE understands you even when you, yourself,  do not. Remember, those hormones HE placed in you are to sustain that little one, not to give you amnesia. Without them, there could be no baby. HE thought about that baby long before you and formed that sweet bundle growing inside of you. Remember to be in constant talking-mode with God; praying His words each second, minute, day. AND take the time to listen, be still and let HIM speak to you through HIS word. 

There will be thoughts that enter your mind when you are pregnant that "normally" would not enter your mind. Bring them before the Father. He knows them any way. And if you are setting Scripture on your heart and memorizing it, it will help you!
"I will bless the Lord who has concealed me; Indeed my mind instructs me in the night. I have set the LORD continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices; my flesh also will dwell securely. For you will not abandon my soul to sheol; nor will You allow your Holy One to undergo decay. You will make known to me the path of life; IN your presence is fullness of joy; in your right hand there are pleasures forever." (ps. 16:7-11) 
"Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ." (II cor. 10:5)

Pray for joy in your pregnancy. you will look back thinking it flew by wishing you would have been more joyful. (Romans 15:13, Phil. 4:4, 6-7) And when you are joyful, God's peace will follow. It will!!

You will gain weight - get over it! It will happen but remember it does not define you. The second they place the baby on you, it will be all worth it because that baby it a gift and God's blessing to you. Don't be so vain, but be a woman, pregnant or not, who fears God first and foremost. Yes, be proactive and careful but do not be consumed with it. It will only distract your eyes from God and will rob you of your joy and contentment. 

Take a deep breath and be patient with those around you. Let your words be like "apples of gold in settings of silver" (prove. 25:11) and pray your words would bring life to your husband and kids. 

Remember, God never promises life will be easy, but HE does promise He will never leave us or forsake us. He is our provider (Matt. 6) He will supply our NEEDS. Don't worry or fear while you are pregnant just pray for God's provision and TRUST His words. Let HIM be your provider and remember to tell the kids how He does provide. 

(*there there is a little paragraph that I wrote about Jason and I* Wink, wink…I will keep that personal)

Take a few extra minutes to just be with the kids and read to them. You will NEVER regret that. 

Immitate God to all around you even when you are pregnant. (Ephesians 5:1) Present your body as a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God. Don't conform your thinking to the worlds "norm" while you are pregnant. Instead keep renewing your mind every day (Romans 1:1-3). God has taught you so much about His blessings, and children, and your relationship with Jason and His provision - don't faulter in your thinking just because you are hormonal. This is the time to lean into Him even more and trust His truth and promises. Let this pregnancy glorify God and bring others to see God's glory (Matt. 5:16) 

When you are completely overwhelmed read:
Psalm 139
Psalm 34
Phil. 4
Matt 6
Psalm 16
Psalm 127

Don't waste your time on the couch watching television; read! Fill your mind with God's truths. Fill your mind with wisdom of others who believe and are walking with God - not culture. 

What a gift it is to be pregnant! You believe this. You know this. You hold this close to your heart. Cherish these moments, they are fleeting! And most importantly, seek to "do" this pregnancy as unto the Lord for HIS glory - not for the glory of man or the opposition of man. Every breath, every step honor God. 

Praise God together with your husband for this life and take one step at a time. 
…just a few reminders! 

This pregnancy has been different for many reasons. My first trimester I know those moods were rough. But then I came back to this letter - I needed help. And through different circumstances God reminded me of HIS truth. I said it above and I hold to it, no matter what, GOD is gracious and any moments with any of my kids are a gift from Him. Relationships are the ONE thing we can invest in here on earth that have an ETERNAL value and importance.

Today, I needed to be reminded of this letter again...