It's a 'Monday kind of Tuesday' type of day

You know, the kind that you feel the moment you roll out of bed. The kind that makes you want to roll back INTO bed and sleep a bit longer and then try again. Like the 2nd grade do-overs we had when we played anything as a kid and it wasn't going our way. The kind that, from the get go, you are two...no four steps behind. That's the kind of day today has been. A dreary day on what is a truly beautiful, cold sunny day.

I cannot put my finger on why. Maybe it is because I am trying to stop my carbonated beverage addiction intake so my head is pounding like a loud drum that just won't stop. Maybe it is because I have this sweet baby boy, just barely out of what was once a swollen womb, waking me often in the wee hours of the night. Maybe it is because I had to stop an argument the moment I walked down our steps and then what seemed like every few minutes afterward.  Whatever the reason, it happened. And for some reason it seems like it should be nearing dinner time and when I look at that ticking clock hanging on my grey wall I realize the seconds just seem to go slower and slower. Can that be?

These are the days I feel like I just keep failing as a Momma. I let words spill, like that glass of milk earlier, and I just cannot clean them up fast enough. These are the days that I try to shine for my kids, but for some reason I cannot seem to get out of my warm, comfy pjs...even they notice as I am driving down the street, wave to a neighbor in the car passing us and my oldest says, "Mom why did you wave...do you really want them to see you like that?" I laugh. I have to laugh to get through this 'Monday kind of Tuesday' day.  I am telling myself to laugh so I don't cry.

These are the days I wonder why God has allowed me to be a mom because after 9 years I still cannot get it right. I know I am not alone. I know there are other Moms that feel this way. I know you are out there and have had these same kind of PJ wearing, neighbor seeing, child embarrassing kind of days.
These are the days I cling ever so tightly to these words :

"I shower blessings on you daily, but sometimes you don't perceive them. When your mind is stuck on a negative focus, you see neither Me or My gifts. In faith, thank Me for whatever is preoccupying your mind. This will clear the blockage so that you can find Me." (Jesus Calling)

HE wants to inhabit my thoughts - no matter how rocky they may be. He wants to inhabit my words - even when they seem to spill. HE wants to inhabit me so I can reflect HIM to my silly, crazy, loving, sweet, argumentative, tiring, precious kids.

SO I give thanks :
- thank you for the shampoo in the shower
- thank you that I managed to get a peaceful shower even though it was well past lunch time
- thank you for the littlest one deciding he wanted to sleep all afternoon - I needed that this day.
- thank you for a piano teacher that walks down to pick up my piano student
- thank you for ice tea
- thank you for a messy house and that I am madly in love with all 8 of the hands that got it that way
- thank you for a husband who loves me, checks in on me and won't be home for awhile so I can get the house picked back up
- thank you for slippers - warm slippers
- thank you for big blue eyes staring at me when she wakes up from her sleepy nap
- thank you for chipped finger nail polish
- thank you for the snack stealing little girl who just keeps forgetting our rule that she isn't allowed to get her own snacks
- thank you for gluten free pretzels
- thank you for Reese's peanut butter cups
- thank you for Sunshine today because if it was another cloudy day I may just have rolled back into bed
- thank you for pictures to remind us Spring will come...it will come!

 - thank you that I was able to write this without sweet baby waking up so I can remember on the next cloudy day what this day looked like and the cure - Give Thanks! Eucharisteo!