Craziness! Kids! And more kids!

I'm sure there are many people who think we are crazy for having more than the average amount of kids. And there are probably even more that would say I am out of my mind for even entertaining the idea of wanting to have more kids. (I am sure my husband may fall into this category!  heehee!)
However I wanted to share this, just from my heart. I do NOT think that having a large family is for everyone. I understand that it is a very personal decision. I understand why some make the decision to not have big family.
I also am not claiming that it is always fabulously, wonderful every second of the day or that I maintain my cool all of the time. If you follow this journey we call life you will see that clear as day. We have great days and we have absolutely insane days. What I will tell you is every day it brings me to my knees. To my knees in thankfulness, in fear, in joy, in apologies, in frustration and in moments of thinking "there is no way I can do this". And every day I am reminded God's love and grace is enough. Period. He is enough. And HE is all I need.

So if you are one of the many wondering why we have "more than the average" kids - here is why :

This is it. The first time since we started having kids that even I fully see how wonderful it is. This little one adores this bigger one. He fully trusts her, he fully loves her. And these moments here are why. She loves him, I love them. Yes she is an amazing helper - I cannot imagine this journey without her, but more than that she loves him differently than I have seen her before. She's that much older. She's that much more capable. She's trustworthy and gets it. And this little one has changed her view, her outlook and even her love for her other siblings. She sees the value in a living, breathing, precious human life and how in a second that can be gone if God so wills just because she is old enough to "get it".

So this is it - yes I believe children are a blessing, yes I LOVE having a bigger family, yes I even love the craziness it inevitably brings. But even more than that, I love what is brings about it them! I love seeing it transform each one just a little bit more every day. 

From Arae :

"I love being the leader of the kids because they look up to me. It makes me feel very special! I like being old enough so I can take care of RJ. I like when my mom calls me the "baby whisperer" because I can get him to fall asleep. 

Having a little sister is really fun because she always says "I wuv you Arae!"She likes to do the things I like to do...wearing my sunglasses - upside down, pretending to go to school like me, and changing her babies diapers like I sometimes do with RJ. 

Having a lot of siblings is cool!"