bare white

bare white

7.28.2017

I don't do...

"Comparison is the THIEF of joy!" 
-Theodore Rosevelt

I dare say I have let a Thief into my house, my mind, and my heart a time or 2... or a thousand.  Looking to my left and right to see what other moms, families, and neighbors are doing can often distract me from what I know I should be doing. Yes, there are times seeing what works for others can really encourage and rejuvenate.  But sometimes it just steals my joy and contentment. What this looks like for me :

- Comparison - do my kids know that? Do that? Have the ability to do that? Can I keep my house that way? Am I ahead (let's be REAL ...am I caught up?) with my laundry? Am I reading the BEST books? Eating the BEST food? Involving myself in the BEST things?
(I think you could actually make a pretty strong argument that the "best" things in life might just be what we idolize the most and distract us the most from keeping eternity in view...hmmm)

I could go on and on - fill in the blank for your own proverbial "thing". 

Addison and I were talking recently about what makes her unique and comparison to others did not make the list. But then again, neither did things like her long hair, her ballet abilities, her creativity, her love of reading...none of those were on the list I gave her. There was one thing on her list that makes her unique. It is HER - exactly how God made her to be. He didn't make anyone else like her - no one! Her ability to be unique is found in her identity in Christ and living that out because, there is no one else in this world that can be Addison Renae White. So if she gets caught in the trap of trying to be like someone else as a result of comparison, she is no longer fulfilling her unique calling to be HER. Sure, blue hair is a fun accessory, but not what would make her unique.

The same is true for my family, for ME. Letting that thief of comparison in gave me chains that I am now desperately shaking free!

Galatians 5:13, 16, 25-26 - "For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another...But I say walk by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh...If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another." 


I could type out all of Galatians 5 - it is so powerful in setting us free from Comparison, and Rivalry. God's word in Hebrews is called the "Law of Liberty" and I LOVE that! I only want to align myself with His word. I desire to live a life honoring to Him, pleasing to Him and His word gives Freedom. Freedom is NOT 'live however I want to live'. God has given us freedom to know Him (And how do we KNOW him? By His Word -the Bible), Freedom to live for Him, Freedom to worship Him, Freedom to love Him, Freedom to hear Him.


SO here is what I did. I made an "I Don't Do..." list. 
This list is not meant to compare or be legalistic. Infact, it's the exact opposite. Before I made this list, I was feeling a certain amount of guilt for things we recently chose not to do or to do depending on your perspective. After I made this list, it gave me a sense of contentment in our decisions that I longed for. There is no power in the actual list, but the practice of writing it out is what set me free from the aforementioned, self inflicted guilt.

1) I don't do real dishes in this season of my life...almost never
2) I don't sort socks
3) I don't fold my kids laundry
4) We don't do Santa (and no judgement on those that do...I just can't afford my kids lists to Santa)
5) I don't do large groups at Restaurants (rarely an exception...it just stresses me out)
6) We don't vacation with other families right now - Our family vacation is #1 and we don't have the ability to do multiple vacations in this season, and that's okay.
7) We don't camp - maybe someday but that day is not now and it won't be in a tent.
8) We don't have a set lunch in the summertime.


Trying to appear "cool"...after his eyes were dilated
"Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding." (II Cor. 10:12) 


This list may grow and change. I want it to as I grow and change. I refer to this list often (having a 'DO' list is helpful too!) For now though, the 'DONT' list has helped me regain focus and shake those chains off. What is on your 'don't' list?  Share it with me, I would love to hear. Or what is on your 'do' list? And how has it set you free from comparison? 








9 comments:

Brooke said...

What a great idea- I love it and I should do it too! Off the top of my head... I don't coupon anymore, I don't have organized closets, I don't have my kids involved in much, I don't cook elaborate meals... it is so freeing to do that!

Charlotte said...

Many of mine are the same as yours :)

I don't fold my kids laundry
I don't clean my kids rooms
I don't fix fancy dinners
I don't feel bad if I sleep in or take a nap
I don't do the co-op that everyone else seems to do
I don't have my kids in very many activities
I don't serve in our church
I don't work out as hard as I used to
I don't shower every day
I don't put on normal clothes unless I'm leaving the house (athleisure is where it's at!!)

I could go on and on! This is a good exercise, thanks Meg!

Charlotte said...

Btw, this is Summer, signed in as Charlotte ;)

Mommy Warren said...

Love this!❤️
I don't do busy!
I don't feel guilty when I have ME time!
I don't cook my kids breakfast.
I don't clean up their messes.
I don't feel bad when my kids stay home while the husband and I go out for dinner.
I don't feel bad when my kids learn things the hard way.
I don't hover over my kids.
I don't mop my floors (like ever)
I don't do tattling...they work it out between themselves!
I don't care what others think of me �� Only Jesus✝️
-Jill Warren

Michelle said...

I have spent the past few days thinking this thru. Turns out there are things I don't do, but am still emotionally attached to. But here are a few that I have been able to let go :)

I don't iron...unless I am sewing.
I don't garden.
I don't push the kids to commit to lots of things.
I don't do rushed...at least not gracefully.
I don't clean for company. We do clean just not specifically for guests.
I don't homeschool. (Today :)

Such a good exercise to rethink things :)

Megan Renae said...

I love reading all of your lists - Michelle, I agree - so good to rethink things. Sometimes my perspective needs to change and viewing it from a "don't" point of view was SO helpful to me to gain Freedom to do what is best for our family in this season! Thank you all for posting your list!

Megan Renae said...

Charlotte/Summer ;) Love your list - don't shower every day was my FAVORITE!

Megan Renae said...

Jill - SO good to read yours too - I haven't seen you in too long!
Hope you re your family are doing well

The Turbyfill Family said...

Love this post! Here's my list (for this season):
I don't...
- have a cleaning rotation for myself
- iron...ever.
- wear makeup every day
- feel bad about sleeping in a few days a week
- take our dog on walks (she gets a backyard tour a couple times a day)
- load our kids up with activities (they each choose one per year)
- do lawncare
- do laundry on a schedule
- do product parties (like the kinds hosted by someone where you go to 'shop' -- just inhibits our budget and tempts me with stuff I don't need)
- feel guilty for taking a couple evenings each month just for myself

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