Several of us spent the last few days sick. Not just a bit sick, but SICK. I will spare you the gruesome details, as I am certain you imaginations will not fail you. And, I am certain many of you have been in our shoes recently and maybe even worse during this blustery winter.
Thankfully, and when I say thankfully I TRULY, WHOLEHEARTEDLY mean it , it was short lived for each individual it invaded.
Here's the thing, when I am sick, which isn't too terribly often (again thankfully), it always forces me to stop. Stop dead in my tracks and take time to breath in and out and regroup and ask for help. I know, with out a tinge of ugly doubt, the LORD knew I needed that. He was calling me to just be still and humble myself to ask for help. It is almost as if he allowed for this to force me into complete stillness…after all, I hurt too much to move a silly muscle. And as I laid there, not moving with a little one next to me feeling as bad as I, I couldn't help but be thankful…for health and healing and the way our bodies are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Let me back up a bit before the death bug hit...Do you ever get in, what I like to call, a "funk"? You know, where you are just stuck in negativity, engrossed in the "other side" of everything, forcing smiles when all you want to do is just crawl in a corner and not talk. I was there the week before I was sick. A whole lovely week of "funk". My husband noticed, I know he did, but did not say a word. How does he do that?? If the tides were turned, I would be asking him 1,000 annoying questions to get to the bottom of his "funk" and then try to make it better. That's me - a fixer. The problem was, this hormonal "funk" of mine, I could not fix. He could not fix. This will show you the wisdom he has…my husband. Instead of trying to fix it, he just loved me and gave me space. Then come Saturday, after the fight with this loathsome stomach bug (and me finally winning), realizing the LORD was trying to get my attention, learning through sickness, AND a date night, he turns and looks at me as we are driving in his black SUV and says, "I'm glad to have my wife back". That was the first he said of it and the last he said of it. I knew he knew. I was right. I learn so much from him. His unconditional love for me does not waver and I feel so deeply and desperately blessed.
So if you are in a "FUNK", I get it. Take a second to breath deep and pour into yourself the healing of learning the lesson you need to learn…maybe the lesson is just be still and STOP. Maybe the lesson is much deeper. Life is full of these learning moments and even at 32 I am still knee deep in learning…learning of my desperate need for my Savior and my desperate need for thinking before I speak.
I told a friend recently, after having been told the same truth by another friend, I am so thankful there is NOTHING I can do to make God love me more and NOTHING I can do to make Him love me less. What unbelievable grace He gives every second of every day - the grace that makes us white as snow. (and snow we have had this winter…what a good reminder!)
